Presents vs. Presence


I haven’t been very present on my blog lately; that’s for several reasons, but the main one being I’ve needed to be more present in my own life. I think in this crazy world we live in, we’re so caught up, and inundated with what’s going on around us (it’s almost impossible not to be) that we often forget to put the focus back on ourselves. Our current pace of life is nothing short of fast, instant gratification that often leads to displeasure, and a sense of urgency that often leads us feeling lost.

Part of my job and who I am, is being a healer. I help people find some sort of balance in their daily lives- yet I fail time and time again at learning to teach myself those same fundamentals.

Since moving back to the states (three years ago) and finalizing my divorce, my career has been better than ever, and it’s partially due do a behavior trait that I acquired when my stress and anxiety levels seemed to be at their peak. I made myself believe that I couldn’t stop. I had my sights set on what success meant for me; being financially independent, getting my name and my message out there, cultivating meaningful business partnerships, etc. and I truly felt that in order to obtain all of those things I couldn’t slow down. That slowing down would lessen my chances of becoming successful, or decrease my odds of “getting it right” – yet it’s that same behavior that I’ve been repeating…not stopping the hustle, the daily grind, and the accelerated forward motion that’s made me realize how imperative it is for me to slow down in order to continue to be successful. I often tell others how important it is to reflect within, and that giving themselves the time and energy to do so is a true present. Imagine that, allowing yourself your own presence is a true present that can only be gifted by you.

I’m slowly realizing that I truly need to practice what I preach, and that if I don’t hit the pause button from time to time, I will begin to despise these pretenses of what success is, and how I view my accomplishments.

For me, it’s not just about the physical aspect of slowing down, but more so the ability to create a more balanced and purposeful emotional existence. The truth of the matter is that everyone is going through something on their own, but we forget that we don’t have to face it alone. The problem lies in the appearance we tend to give off, as though nothing is bothering us, everything is alright, and we’ve got it all together. That’s a lie if I’ve ever heard one (I’m calling my own bullshit here). No one truly has it all, or has it all together, but we allow this facade to become a leading role in our lives and then we begin to believe it to be true… until the reality of it all slaps us in the face.

When it’s so easy and comes like second nature to help others, let’s remember we can only truly do that if we’ve helped ourselves first.



  1. Momsays:

    Amen..your always on target.
    Don’t wait until you’re 60 to get it.

  2. Lizs64@yahoo.comsays:

    Hi Jayel it’s your old neighbor Liz I just came across your blogs and I watched you speech on fear. I am so proud you. You have become a beautiful women inside and out . Xoxo

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