Success is a Mindset

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Right around the New Year I debated (with myself) about whether or not I should post a blog about why I don’t believe in New Years resolutions, but for the people that do, I didn’t want to offend anyone. The thing is, I believe in execution. I believe that setting goals is an amazing thing. I like to hand write my goals around years end so I have something tangible to look back on. I also take time to think of how I’m going to execute them properly without getting overwhelmed with all the forgotten steps that come in between.

What I see people failing at most (myself included) is taking time to reflect on what you’ve accomplished this past year, and how it all transpired. I’m one for making plans, sticking to them, and getting frustrated when things are seemingly not going according to my plan, when the truth is; we all have a plan. Whether you believe in God, Buddha, or another higher power greater than yourself, you must believe that we all have something we’re meant to be doing to help others and ourselves. The issue that comes into play is that we’re not always capable of seeing where life may unexpectedly take us. We get so caught up in why things aren’t working and take little to no time to question if we may be headed on a more desirable path, one that will suit us better, and one that will ultimately make more sense in the long run.

This past year I had a lot of personal success in my business, but I also made a lot of mistakes. Mistakes that frustrated me, made me question my direction, but mistakes that ultimately led me to where I am, and who I am today. Looking back is something we’re often taught to not do; “look ahead” is what people say. While I’m all for it, I think that occasionally looking back allows us to see how much we’ve grown, what lessons we’ve learned, and that sometimes the most beautiful forms of creativity evolve through suffering.

I’m going to rewind a few years back to when I was living in Germany with my then husband. Neither one of us were happy in the marriage, he left and ultimately left me to pick up the pieces. I stayed in Germany for quite awhile, trying to make sense of it all, get a grip on where my life was headed (since it was no longer going in the direction I had always planned for it to), and figure out who Jayel was one her own. Not married, but single. Not Michael’s Air Force dependent, but independent. This was all new to me. I remember quite vividly asking for strength, and guidance. Every door pointed towards fitness. When I wanted to drink myself silly and forget that I had emotions I was reminded that I had clients that were depending on me. They were going through their own issues and I was there to help them see the light at the end of the tunnel. It was during that time period that I made a promise; while I do believe in God, I told myself that fitness would become a new part of my belief system. I vowed to give my life to fitness. At the time I wasn’t able to fully understand the capacity of what I was committing to.

I now see it.

For a while I struggled with connecting to others through fitness. I never struggled with weight, I had always been active, and I naturally had an athletic build. In other words, I wasn’t relatable.

As my world felt as though it was falling apart, the truth was, in part, that it was coming together. My divorce was the hardest thing I’ve had to endure to date. It left me breathless, broken, and guarded, but throughout that process I learned who I was, what I’m capable of enduring, and how I can’t look at success through anyone else’s eyes but my own- because success isn’t something you can simply write down on paper- it’s a mindset. It’s how you view your weakness and are able to make them into your strengths. We must remind ourselves that healing and rebuilding is an evolutionary process. It takes time to create a fruitful relationship, not just with others, but with ourselves as well. I can speak from the trenches because I was there, and at times still am. I felt I was in a relationship that wasn’t necessarily conducive to my growing process for seven years…yet it’s the very relationship that made me grow up.

Through that process I was reminded that each beautiful piece of artwork was birthed by failure, heartache, defeat, and loss. Yet by facing my reality I had to deal with my problems that I had been trying to cover up for so long, by pretending they didn’t exist. I now am a testament to how one can view something as a failure, yet it can turn into one of the biggest successes in your life. Sometimes veering of course is something we need. We must understand that our pain has the capability of turning our passion into a purpose.

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These are a Few of My Favorite Things…

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It’s that time of year again where we vow to break old habits, and create New Year’s resolutions for the year ahead. As a personal trainer I typically get a surge of new clients wanting to change their ways, and become a healthier version of themselves, I also get asked quite frequently “how do you do it all?” My abbreviated answer is that I make sure to set time aside for myself. While I genuinely love what I do on a day-to-day basis, fitting myself and my overall well being into my daily routine is 100% necessary.

As women, we wear multiple hats on any given day, and typically give more to others than we do ourselves. The importance of personal health isn’t just something we should talk about doing, but something that’s so necessary for us to implement into our daily routine/s. Giving back to myself is not only something that I practice, but also something that I preach to friends, family, and clients. We must remember that treating ourselves is both acceptable, and manageable.

The top four questions I get asked on a daily basis are;

1. When do you find time to get in a workout? Short answer, sometimes I don’t, my schedule gets busy and will change in the blink of an eye. Yet by scheduling something and making it just as important as a meeting with your accountant you’ll realize that it wasn’t only something you wanted to do, but something that was necessary to help you re-focus throughout the day. If you follow me on any form of social media, you know that Body Cycle Studio is my go to for a quick 45-minute cardio workout, that’s guaranteed to have me leaving in a good mood.

2. What do you eat on any given day? Truth be told, I don’t follow any one specific diet. I don’t even believe in the word “diet” — I fuel my body with the nutrients it needs on a regular basis. I always make it a point to incorporate proteins, healthy fats, carbohydrates, and my personal favorite (aside from carbs), fruits, and vegetables. If your life is anything like mine you’re constantly on the go and usually reaching for something in your fridge to toss into your bag. My new obsession with Stripp’d Juice has allowed me to do just that. The cold pressed blends are not only delicious and addicting, but quite appealing and full of color.

3. What do you do with your hair? That’s a great question to ask my stylist, Tasha. I don’t even own a blow dryer so I frequent AMS Salon for not only a blow out, but for fun sweat approved braids that will keep your hair looking as though you do it on a daily basis. Who knew there was such a thing as a braid bar? I can’t even…

4. Where would you recommend getting running shoes from? I used to be the type of person that solely (get it?) bought my shoes based on their design and overall exterior look. While, I still do that from time to time, I’ve realized that it’s not just about how the shoe looks, but also how it performs. My go to? Philadelphia Runner. From the moment you walk in the door, they’re friendly, eager to help, and have a real passion for performance training shoes. They also do a lot of amazing things for the community, which makes you feel like you’re not just a customer, but part of their community.

Treat yo self!

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