I’ve always worked vacations into my life, they refuel me, and allow me to remember my why and purpose. It’s a chance to step away from it all, even just for a few days, and reconnect with myself.
This year life has gotten the best of me. I’ve been so focused on building my business, investing in my business, and learning how to live life solo that I forgot about investing in my well being. My friends and clients would ask when my next vacation was and I didn’t have a definitive response. I knew I needed one but it wasn’t fitting into my schedule. It was one thing after the next and I just didn’t have the time.
More recently than not I’ve been feeling like I’ve hit a wall. That I was chasing someone else’s dreams instead of my own, getting frustrated over little things, and forgetting that I’m capable of being successful and achieving greatness. Work was beginning to feel like a chore, and waking up was becoming more and more difficult with each passing morning.
Last week, I threw my hands up and surrendered. I know when I need an adult time out, a break from the world, and time to recharge. Without putting much thought into it, I booked an international flight, and hotel, for the following weekend, and that was that. I didn’t think about the cost, the days off from work, or if was a wise decision or not.
March 28th 2015: My parents picked me up at 530am to drive me to Newark international airport (as they normally do for my flights-bless them).
While cruising down 95 my Step-Dad said something to me that really resonated within. He asked if I remembered when he picked me up from DC when I came home from Germany. He reminded me how worried I was about leaving all of my clients behind and starting all over again. “You’ve come a long way he said.” I agreed but didn’t think much more of it at the time.
Being in an airport has always excited me. Seeing hundreds of people go in hundreds of different directions allows me to see that no matter what, you just have to keep moving. You never know where life can take you, and although in the moment we’re so concerned with the here and now, we can only plan our life to a certain degree. The rest is written in the stars and it’s something we can’t predict. I never imagined I’d live in Germany, never imagined I’d be fortunate enough to travel the world, and never imagined I’d be pretty darn successful doing something that I truly love…
I checked in and made my way through security. Sat down to have a cup of tea prior to boarding and took a moment to think of how fortunate I am to live a life where I feel fulfilled most of the time, make enough money to travel, and have some incredibly amazing people as part of my tribe.
I called my Dad to let him know I made it and would begin boarding shortly. Once on the plane I checked Facebook one last time (I really need to work on a digital detox, but we’re all a work in progress).
One of my best friends pictures popped up with what he was doing this time last year (new Facebook feature), it then gave me a link to click on what I was doing this time a few years ago…I clicked.
March 28, 2011: “Off to Germany I go…”
I froze for a moment thinking there’s no way this coincidence was possible. As I kept staring at the screen my heart began to flood with several emotions, mostly bittersweet. I called my Dad, as I usually do when I feel an overwhelming sense of emotions because he seems to be the only one to know exactly what to say to calm me down. I told him how ironic I thought it was. He said it certainly is, but you’re in a much better place. I had to bite my lip for a moment as to not allow my ugly cry to take over, and scare the passengers next to me. I took a deep breath and accepted what was…and what is.
Four years ago today I was off to a new country with my husband to begin the next chapter of our lives. I can still remember my fingers swelling mid air, and trying to rotate my new wedding band. It was a fresh start, a new opportunity, and the beginning of the rest of our lives, so I thought.
The plan I had in my head didn’t work out, but I guess when you really think about it, that was the plan, for things to not work out that way, but for them to work out differently.
Sure, the thought of March 28th, 2011 will always be a distant memory and hold a place in my heart, both negative and positive but today, I’m so incredibly grateful to be able to take flight, to spread my wings and soar.
Growing up hasn’t been easy, in fact it’s been really f*cking hard, but through this process I’ve learned so much about myself, and that despite what life throws at you, you can still fly- it may just be in a different direction.
Isn’t it ironic…don’t you think?